Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The World's Longest Sentence (English majors I'm apologizing now!)

You know when it's late at night and you've only got healthy snacks 'cuz you're addicted to sugar and you sneak up into your kid's room and quietly borrow...take...steal a Kitkat which turns into seven, but then they're all gone and you realize there's only jugi fruit and candy lips and he'll notice, oh he'll know his own mother is a thief, unless he thinks the baby did it and you make a promise to yourself that you'll buy a whole bag tomorrow and just dump it in his sack and he'll never know the difference and how awful that you're taking candy from well you know the proverbial phrase, but he's not a baby, and you'd never really take candy from a baby because she would just happily hand it to you and trade it for a binky, and you sigh with relief as you finish off the last of your baby's teddy grahams...yah, me too.

20 comments:

Trying to Stay Calm! said...

Yes I love candy!!! :)

Leslie said...

So here's my version: thankfully Brody doesn't like chocolate(???) so when he wasn't home I raided his trick-or-treat bucket (yes he actually went) and so I said to Reese is this the same as stealing candy from a baby cause technically he's a teenager. Oh yeah.

Kristina P. said...

My husband hides candy from me, in the freezer, all the time. It makes me angry.

*MARY* said...

Just tell him you were checking his candy for razor blades.

So said...

Your kids still have candy left?

rubberbandgirl said...

Oh yes I am a candy thief too, but my kids just don't appreciate chocolate. (I am also a liar)

Donna said...

This is so funny. I can relate to the fact that it's very easy to keep on eating and eating sweets before you even realize what's happened. I hope your son wasn't too upset!

Tink said...

Yes, you are the brave one to voice the things we've all done as mothers! Thanks for the laugh and I "heart" candy! (as I am typing this and eating some right now)

Lara said...

I love candy. Lucky me, I prefer the chocolate variety and my kids don't. But I can totally relate to that late night craving when only a piece of chocolate candy will do.

a Tonggu Momma said...

You mean you didn't already confiscate the KitKats? Because I totally did. (And I'm here because I happened to love your title suggestions over at navel gazing.)

scrapsidaisy said...

I love it. Isn't it amazing the things we can find for snacks when we really need it? And kind of along these sames lines...I'm guilty of taking money out of my kids piggy banks so I can be the tooth fairy and put money under their pillows. Pathetic, I know. I always say I will pay them back...and sometimes I do!

Jeana said...

You need to keep some candy in the house for you--but still, there's no reason for taking Halloween candy. As my neighbor says, that's just the taxes they're required to pay. . .

Melissa said...

I am SO addicted to sugar. I've already eaten most of my kids' Halloween candy.

trish said...

I remember those trick r treating days. I'd eat all the good stuff first, the rest I would keep in a pillow case and snack on it for a few days.
Most of the time i would forget about the candy and find it stale a year later still in my closet with a bunch of clothes and junk on it. HA

Lyndy said...

My word Rach... you are so funny! I'd share our Halloween stash with you but it's so long gone that I can't even remember what there was-- just that I ate it all. :)

Christine said...

Been there. Just passing by, but wnated to stop and say hi.

sara said...

Have no shame! You wouldn't want to waste that precious, precious candy.

Beth W said...

rachel, really. kitkats? i would have gone for the snickers

Kerri said...

I make each of my kids give me soem of their chocolate and we also trick or treated for our baby who can't eat much candy so that my husband and I , meaning mostly me, can eat it.

in time out said...

that is a great sentence. like your music.