Monday, October 12, 2009

Life Guard

I just answered the door. My husband sent me flowers. On the card reads,

'Everything's going to be alright, rock-a-bye.'

I wish I could explain what my heart did when I read this...

This is the man who holds my fear, my sorrows, my pain so no one else has to perish under the weight.

And it has to be hell...

I know he wonders where his fun-loving, gregarious sweetheart goes and where the walking bundle of nerves wrapped up in scraps-of-scary comes from.
We tread water together sometimes, waterlogged with life and all too often it is I who must be rescued, but he can't pull me to safety because I'm holding him down, my arms flailing and legs kicking and he swallows too much water.
Still, he keeps his arm around me and drags me to the shore.
He lays there in the sand safe for a moment and I gaze at his form pummeled and bruised by the endless waves.

Sometimes he needs rescuing too.

And we plead to the Benevolent Soul who loves us perfectly. Plead for the Atonement to bind up our wounds and to hold us when we are incapable of holding each other and we plead endlessly for we fall back into the deep water ad nauseam. And HE saves both of us...

That being said, as an answer to the lovely lyrics of Shawn Mullins my sweetheart penned, I invoke the stylings of John and Paul (there is a controversy as to their true collaboration on this song):
'Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more'