Monday, October 12, 2009

Life Guard


I just answered the door. My husband sent me flowers. On the card reads,

'Everything's going to be alright, rock-a-bye.'


I wish I could explain what my heart did when I read this...


This is the man who holds my fear, my sorrows, my pain so no one else has to perish under the weight.

And it has to be hell...

I know he wonders where his fun-loving, gregarious sweetheart goes and where the walking bundle of nerves wrapped up in scraps-of-scary comes from.
We tread water together sometimes, waterlogged with life and all too often it is I who must be rescued, but he can't pull me to safety because I'm holding him down, my arms flailing and legs kicking and he swallows too much water.
Still, he keeps his arm around me and drags me to the shore.
AGAIN.AND.AGAIN.
He lays there in the sand safe for a moment and I gaze at his form pummeled and bruised by the endless waves.

Sometimes he needs rescuing too.

And we plead to the Benevolent Soul who loves us perfectly. Plead for the Atonement to bind up our wounds and to hold us when we are incapable of holding each other and we plead endlessly for we fall back into the deep water ad nauseam. And HE saves both of us...

That being said, as an answer to the lovely lyrics of Shawn Mullins my sweetheart penned, I invoke the stylings of John and Paul (there is a controversy as to their true collaboration on this song):
'Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more'

16 comments:

mindij said...

Lovely! I feel the same way about my hubby!

I am all over those "scraps of scary"...oh wait, they are all over me! ;)

Christie Gardiner said...

What lovely words you give him all the time.

clan of the cave hair said...

very nice. I had no idea that the "I love you more" words were from two of my favorite songsters! I recently received a text from mine that said just that "I love you more". (I must say though, I love that yours included the "rockabye" part of your song. LOVE it.)

Devri said...

Love it! What a wonderful man you have, and he has a wonderful woman..together you guys are perfect for each other! hugs

Christine said...

Your husband rocks. That was beautifully put.

susette said...

What a great reminder of where we always should turn first, to each other. And then upward together.

Jillene said...

That is AWESOME!! What a great hubby you have!!

R Max said...

I hate to ask what brought this on, it sounds traumatic... but it is superb that the Man is there to be your support. Don't you just love it when he knows what you need?

Kristina P. said...

I hope you guys are doing OK!

rubberbandgirl said...

This was so nice/sweet/tender/deep.
Thank you for sharing this.
How lovely and complex is married life

Amy said...

You are both wonderful people and your devotion to each other and your family is what this life is all about. And to think...you didn't even like him at the very first! Heavenly Father knows what we need better than we do, and in any trial we go through, we need to keep that in mind. You will look back on this time with gratitude and satisfaction that you used the challenges to draw close to each other, instead of letting it pull you apart.
As a last thought, remember this: Tony is lucky to have you too - flaws (there are less than you think) and all.
XO

Lara said...

Beautifully written! You are too hard on yourself. I am glad you have a wonderful husband and feel fortunate to have one myself. It is so amazing how we can balance and help each other. I miss seeing you, when is the next book club?

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

That is soooooooooooo sweet!!! What a beautiful post!

Jeana said...

I hope things are going okay. Thanks for sharing.

Finding Joy in the Moments said...

Peace fills my soul when I hear your words. For many times you say the things I am thinking but have no words to express.

love ya!!

Debbie said...

I hope everything is alright. I haven't heard anything from you in a while.