Thursday, January 1, 2009

That Was Soooooo 2008

Saying to the surgeon before gallbladder surgery, "I just don't want to eat crap anymore."

(See in 2009 no one would knowingly ingest that...ewww)


Going to the inlaws house and saying,"So how's married life treating you?" (Because that's literally the only thing you can think of to say) Them responding, "We're divorced."

(In 2009 one just wouldn't speak at all)


Being short and hanging up because you think the person on the phone is a telemarketer. Actually, it's someone your husband works with.

(In 2009 one would GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to avoid answering the phone if they didn't recognize the #)


Saying to someone YOU KNOW at the park, "Oh are these your grandchildren?"
Them saying, "No" and staring at you really hard because their oldest child just got married and they couldn't possibly be old enough to have grandkids and they are beautiful and talented and sweet!!

(In 2009 there would just be no words for this...the person should just stay home and not be allowed out.ever.again.)


Spilling an entire glass of ice water in your LAP at a restaurant with your friends on what seems like the coldest night of the year, and almost doing it again when your glass is refilled. Using your dear friend's baby's diaper to soak up the water for the next 3 hours.

(In 2009 one would learn proper etiquette on a girl's night out and would try to make sure the water was aimed toward their top half at the very least)


So here's to 2009- keep your mouth shut and your hands in your lap and you too can improve this next year. Here's to one day of no f aux pas or lack of social graces. There's only 364 more to go. D'oh!!

25 comments:

Erin said...

Oh man! Those are all things I would probably say! I know I need to learn to keep my mouth shut a little more often.

Here's to 2009!

Kristina P. said...

So funny! This made me laugh! And very grateful I am not you. ;)

Christine said...

I hear you. I thought I had a monopoly on social blunders. (Till now.) Happy 2009! :)

mindij said...

I know none of those were from personal experience-you are too graceful for any of that!!!

Kerri said...

I've had my share of putting my foot in my mouth too!

Tink said...

I had some good laughs! And I am a total "put my foot in my mouth" type of person. Ewww, I wish I thought before I speak! Sometimes I do and other times I'm like, "so, when are you due?" And the lady looks at me with fire in her eyes: "Uh, I had my baby 6 months ago." Yikes!

trish said...

LOL This sounds like stuff I would say!

clan of the cave hair said...

awe. suuuuum. I think I'll try following your rules and see how things go.

Moneypenny said...

LOL! You crack me up:) Hope you have a good New Year. I am hoping for the same for myself. No gorging yourself on kit kats;)

rubberbandgirl said...

Once again, you have me rocking with laughter.
I will try to make my behavior more '2009' as well. Thanks for the advice!

Robin said...

Everything would be just fine if we didn't have to interact with each other. Just think how much easier life would be.

Eileen said...

I simply must be your follower. This list forced me into it.

Best of luck in 2009!

Mina said...

You're great! ANd I would be happy like Kristina that I am not you, except that I am just a bad. So yes, here's to some much needed social grace for us both!

Jen Sue Wild said...

I cant stop laughing.
I love your human side. !!
I love it even more that you share it!!

annalisa said...

I love this post. So funny. I think I spilled water on me, twice, this winter too!

Jillene said...

Hahahaha!! We are SOOOOO much alike!!

Donna said...

This is great! So funny. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does things like these!

Becky said...

Hello, fellow gallbladder-less friend. Darn those stones!! So rude.

I'm aawfully glad I never say anything dumb or thoughtless. Not ever.

R Max said...

Ditto that! I have recently made fun of a lady who was sitting directly behind me and this was after I did the same thing in 2007, you'd think I would have learned my lesson already when the first insulted woman went running from the room in tears.

I hate myself.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Big goals for 2009, but I think you can do it. Your approach is sound. Just don't leave the house, answer the phone, or allow for any type of human interaction.

You can't fail! Let me know how it goes because I very well may adopt a similar lifestyle.

-Francesca

Mina said...

I have an award for you on my sidebar.

Kellie said...

Oh wow! Sorry! I hope 2009 is better! I had a day like all those on Sunday.

Kellie said...

Oh, I meant to add, let me know if you are planning on going to the Storymakers conference! I'm going and if you want we can split the cost of the hotel room and share!

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh did you get a picture of the diaper clean up! That's funny.

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

This was too funny! I loved it!
I'm afraid there's going to be a lot of changes from last year to this one! A LOT!