My first mommy and me class...really. I thought we were supposed to learn something. They informed me that I was supposed to teach my daughter, the teacher is just there to observe.
So here's what I'm NOT going to teach Cecilia.
Lesson #1
Before going to a pool, make sure you have tanned to a nice golden crisp
Lesson #2
You must have acquired a killer body before daring to stuff yourself into a swimsuit
Lesson #3
When you invariably see all the people you know at the pool and the time comes to strip down to your suit, just forget the whole thing and go running off still wearing your husband's t-shirt and the biggest beach towel you can find for support.
Here's what I WILL teach her:
Lesson #1
Have fun and don't cling to mommy with your teeth- really you'll break the skin!
Lesson #2
Mommy's swimsuit really does need to cover mommy so please don't yank it up, down or sideways
Lesson #3
Mommy needs to learn to swim better herself so perhaps you should ignore lesson #1 after all...