There Are Nuclear Bombs In My Blood

Some of my jokes work.

Most don't.

I get it.

Growing up I watched my dad test his puns like nuclear weapons over Nevada. I would roll my eyes and think...really?
I have become my father. I try to not be punny. I try to not find the humor in a ball of lint, but the humor is everywhere and it taunts me. I hear it scratching at my brain and suddenly I'm saying something that if it works will get a laugh. And if it doesn't?? Just roll your eyes folks cause I'll probably try again sooner rather than later.
I worry sometimes I have hurt people's feelings, especially people who are just getting to know me or that I'm so comfortable with that my self deprecation and tendency to be sarcastic gets too close for comfort.
I remember my mom telling me some people would get annoyed with my father for comments he made. I get it now. He was trying to be funny. His identity was in being funny.
I hide behind humor. It's my trusty shield and has served me well in a life that's had some tough spots. If I leave someone laughing, maybe they will like me or think I'm fun or forget that sometimes life hurts and there can be joy. I'm still working out the kinks. And those of you who know me well, know that for every one laugh, there's ten that fall flat.


A little humor goes a long way, but I can't help it, I LOVE funny...it's in my blood.